My emotional journey week....

Tuesday morning, I had to face Dr Kapas to get my results. It was nerve-wrecking as I was not too confident with a distinction. But, Alhamdulillah, I passed with flying colours!!!! I achieved a high distinction average of 81.4% Was quite shocked actually... I'm so thankful to everyone who has prayed for me. Though, was a bit disappointed I didn't get to be 1st in class, I know at least I'm top 3.

The past week was a whirlwind journey of emotions for me. I dunno, I find myself irritated by simple things that usually didn't matter. I was so irritated by this kiasu classmate of mine (let's call him CiKia). In class, CiKia was always asking me things I worked so hard finding out, then stabbed me in the back and took over!!! I hate CiKia so much nowadays. I pray one day that these selfish bastards will suffer for what they've done! Everytime I see them, I feel like giving them a slap in the face >:(

Anyways, I have started applying for jobs. I worked on my CV and cover letter for 4 sleepless nights the past week and sent 4 applications to KBR alone. I've also re-submitted my project choices and unexpectedly chose Dr Pasir as my supervisor coz he's the man at the uni's Rolls Royce center. My plan is that if I can do well in his projects, I hope to get funding from the center (DHPA guaranteed!). The only thing is, I might struggle a bit coz its all about electrical systems for aerospace application! Totally beyond my oil & gas scope... but its worth the risk.

Today, there is a meeting with PETRONAS VP of Education, our dear Dr Rosti. Hope he still remembers me and is willing to give me a try to pursue a PhD under UTP. I will try to convince him as much as I can.

Basically, I have done my best to blanket myself to the unknown once I finish my Masters this September. I've taken the first steps. I'm really hoping to end up with either the below:

1. Working at KBR to achieve my Chartered status,
2. Complete my PhD under Rolls Royce or
3. Complete my PhD with UTP.

Either one, I hope and pray that it works out. Pray for me too, OK?

A door closed, but another one opens....

I haven't been posting for the past 1 week because my life has taken a 180 turn now. I was busy trying to decide on my MSc dissertation project when I received a surprise email from my office in Malaysia (OGP). This very important email has just turned my life's direction- our beloved OGP will no longer be operational in PETRONAS. Staff without projects (that's me! since I'm floating to do my MSc) will be deployed to other OPUs within the company. So, my dream of becoming "Ir. Adita", the professional engineer/consultant of OGP will definitely not come true.

Though the door for becoming an Ir closed in front of me, I realised that a new door opens just at the right time - this was the week I was supposed to decide on my project, which inevitably gave me the opportunity to think about continuing my PhD. If I return to Malaysia after my Masters, I will be "deployed" to another OPU and risk having to start all over again climbing the corporate ladder, plus my MSc will not add any value. However, if I return with a PhD and request to be deployed into Universiti Teknologi Petronas instead, I'll definitely stand a bigger chance to make it big in Petronas. Thus, after so much thinking and seeking advice from friends and family, I have decided to stay here and pursue a PhD.

My only concern though is obviously $$$. I met up with Dr Kapas and he told me that there is an opportunity for partial funding. The whole day today I was googling on funding sources and I found the best option - the Dorothy Hodgkin Postgraduate Awards (DHPA). Its full tuition fees paid for 3 years PLUS maintenance fees of GBP12,300 per year! Also, its specific to my department AND only students from China, India and MALAYSIA can apply. How cool is that ;)

I definitely thought I stand a good chance in it and was so excited to apply..... UNTIL I found out that the deadline for 2006/7 was last 8th February!!!! I'm so mad!!! How can they set such early deadlines??? Furthermore, the uni just had a postgraduate open day on the 8th Feb itself! That is so not cool >:/

Thus, I have to find other alternatives, though I'm not giving up with DHPA. I'm going to push for it if there's still hope... If it's meant to be, it's up to me!!!

The whole of yesterday and today I did nothing but watching movies and being lazy....

Sunny day, PSCAD and spaghetti bolognaise...

After 2 weeks of gloomy horrible weather, the sun was finally out today!!! It was such a lovely day, but unfortunately I was indoors all the time coz today's classes were jam packed. It was non-stop 9-5 within 3 buildings and a mere 30 minutes break for lunch at Devina's. I was virtually rushing from one class to another, thank god I was wearing my new happening flat boots.

Anyways, I tried 1st hand on the PSCAD software, which will soon be my soulmate for the rest of the year if I decide to do Dr Kapas's project. As usual, Dr Kapas passed me his daily cynical remarks to "cheer" me up, but I was too busy to layan. I found out that PSCAD was not too bad at all and I think I can deal with it. Its Dr Kapas that I need to have to deal with >:/

All those running around left me breathless by the time I reached Devina's place for dinner. Thankfully, Devina made really good spaghetti bolognaise - I pigged out 2 pinggan tau! The sauce was homemade recipe with a hint of BBQ sauce which really adds the flavour, with sprinkled fresh parmesan cheese... and to top it off, we had fru-fru blueberries for desert... ahhhh bless.... It was so sedap, sampai tak larat nak bangun dah.

When I got home, I received an email from Hubby from his new office's address. I miss him so much and am very happy for him that he's doing well in KL. He deserves it.... he has been working so hard to get where he is right now and I'm very proud of him.

Anyways, got to go- so much to do... I have deadlines to meet for the Shine essay and KBR application next week. Plus I need to send some important emails for advice on my project and my study table's full of stuff, I can't see the table anymore! I really have to start organising and filing everything already!!!! The table's a complete mess!

The return of Dr Kapas...

Thanks to Devina, I managed to wake up early today and for the first time... I was early to a Monday class. In fact, I was the first to arrive! Am quite proud considering its my first class of the semester... hmmm... probably its a start of future early mornings to come....(yeah, right!).

Anyways, the first person who greeted me this morning was the lecturer I hate to love - Dr Kapas. He's really cool but evil... really funny but deceiving... the thing is, I heard so much about him (he's known as the one who can fail you without warnings), but he seems to be so cool. In fact, he is one of the best lecturers here. I do notice that he always has his eyes on me in class - which can either be a good or bad thing. However, I'm so tempted to take his dissertation project for my MSc, but am scared that he'll fail me... If it wasn't for the rumours, Dr Kapas will be the perfect supervisor to work with on my dissertation project. I'm so confused la... Should I risk it? Should I find another supervisor? How ah??? Well, I still have 2 weeks to decide.

Today I went impulse shopping (yet again!). I bought myself 2 pairs of jeans, a nice long sleeve top and a pair of boho mod-calf boots that fit my fat calves!!! The boots were only 9pounds!!! I was so happy, especially on the boots coz its so damn difficult to find boots that I can zip up. You see, I'm petite - I wear a size 8... but I've got these huge muscle-ly calves. My good friend Pudin called me Xena Warrior Princess once, thanks to my calves >:/

Tonight, I haven't done anything productive yet... was busy trying out clothes to suit me new boots! hehehehe. OK, I will TRY my best to kemas and finish up Dr. Kapas's assignment. This week I must take the effort to impress him... probably he'll see the true hardworking-independant-me and might consider me in his project..... huhhh... life is so complicated...

A new year, a new start...

Wow, I can't believe I left my blog so long... So many things happened... from my hubby leaving UK to KL and then came back to UK and just last night left UK and back in KL! Since it was the new year (Awal Muharram) a few days ago, I'll start my blog all over again then ;)

After hubby left, I was so sedih... I was crying the whole night missing him. We have to stay apart again... the last time he was pursuing his Masters and I had to stay in KL to keep our finances going. Then, now I'm here in UK doing my Masters and Hubby's back in KL to start his new job. He didn't manage to secure a job here.... but I guess God has better plans for him in KL.

Well, today I started cleaning the house- from re-arranging the wardrobe to vacuuming, mopping and later to re-organise all my books and filing. I just finished my 1st semester and this coming Monday will be my 2nd semester here in Manchester. Time passes so fast.... just can't believe it.

It gets really lonely without Hubby around. He was here the whole of last week and we had so much fun together. We went all around Manchester- from the Manchester Eye to the museum and hit the shops, of course! On one hand I wished the week didn't pass to soon... but on the other hand I wish time flies faster so I can get to see him again.

Also, I can't wait to see my Boboy and Baby again.... I miss them very much. I'm publishing their latest photos below, my hubby sent from home. They look so sad, they must have missed me too :(