Happy Birthday Haidan!

Look who turns 1 today!!!


Me!!!

In the morning, Mama & Papa took me to the nursery to celebrate my birthday with my friends. They prepared a small cake for me with a big no '1' candle, and sang Happy Birthday.


Unfortunately I wasn't too well the night before. I had tummy ache and a temperature, so I couldn't stay long at the nursery with my friends. Mama & Papa had to bring me home. Since it's my birthday, Mama & Papa let me play whatever I want and I am allowed to watch as much tv too... Hoorrraaayyyy!!!



In the evening, we headed off to Kakak Azmarea's house. On the way, we were supposed to pick up my birthday cake, but as usual, Papa got lost. We were stuck in traffic and the shop was closing soon! Thank God, Uncle Alan was nearby and he managed to pick up the cake for us on time! Hoorrayyy for Uncle Alan who saved the day!

When we got there, we were so happy to see all the food and decorations ready for my party, all thanks to Aunty Marisa!! Everything was red and everyone was in red too! The food was yummy. We had potato&minced pie with chicken nuggets. The adults had nasi with ayam masak lemak, beefballs, sweet sour fish, fruit salad and cheesecake. Well done Aunty Marisa, thank you!!!


The best part of the day was when they surprised me with my birthday cake. It was lovely! A big chocolate number '1' with red deco and a teddy bear. It was really yummy too! I loved it!




Next, Mama helped me open my birthday presents. Kakak Azmarea and Brother Yusuff helped me out too. I love the presents and can't wait to play with them. Thank you everyone!!!



Wow, birthdays are so much fun!!! I can't wait for my next one!

A year ago today...

I was in a happy mood celebrating my last day of work before I leave for my maternity leave. Then, Haidan was due to arrive on the 1st Dec- so I had plenty of time to go shop for baby stuff (yup, we weren't ready at all then). I remembered bringing big tupperwares of nasi goreng to jamu my colleagues who planned a lunch party for me. We didn't do much work that day coz everyone was in a relaxing mood since it was a Friday and they all couldn't wait for the weekend.

This year is so different. Well, obviously I'm no more pregnant (tho I still do look like it! Darn... too much Mochachino lah nie!). And work has been piling up for us this past few months- so colleagues were not as jolly as they were last year. Weather has been horrible too- raining and cold. I rarely get time off at home as well with Haidan now crawling and cruising. He's definitely into the "Now you see him, now you don't!" stage. Plus, with the winter and all, he gets sleepy earlier nowadays, so whatever free time I have are all spent with my (not-so) little baby. Therefore, my favourite pastimes of blog-hopping and facebooking have to be put on hold.

I'm also so excited and can't wait till we move into our new home. I wanted to post the pictures up but Hubby won't let me coz he knows I'll be too excited and get myself too into it, so if anything happens nanti- I will be depressed and disappointed. So, until all the paperwork is confirmed and done, I shall not jinx it (yet!). Tho, I really can't help myself looking at furniture and kitchen appliances dah... suddenly Mama's Home&Garden magazine seems to be more appealing than my usual doses of celeb chronicles.

Oh, how time passes by so fast. Haidan's going to be 1 next week already! He's no more a baby :( So much has changed and my best friends have moved on too - Mate's so happy working in Amsterdam with Michal and they'll will be moving to their new home soon, Vas will be a tai-tai and are moving to Mumbai, Devina's in a plane somewhere around the world, Nina is expecting her 2nd baby... thank you God for blessing us all this past year.

Giggly blonde??

I had my performance appraisal yesterday. Due to some changes in the office, I was assessed by my mentor and lead instead of my manager. I knew it was going to be a bit uncomfortable because we were quite close.

As soon as we entered the room, I had to explain all my current year objectives and justify myself how I have achieved the expectations given to me. Compared to the previous year, this year was very challenging as I have been given the responsibility to do power system studies - a task usually done with people having more than 20 years experience. Therefore, I had to work extra hard this year meeting the requirements set in the office, with becoming a new mom and trying to learn the system as much as I can with the little time I have. Although I was happy that my mentor acknowledged that I performed well in my task, I was taken a back that she mentioned that the only thing that bothers her is that I portray a "giggly blonde" personality - which, by the first impression people may not take me seriously, and doubts my leadership skills. I might not have the confidence to give out presentations and might find it difficult should I be sent out to site on my own.

Hmmm.... me "giggly blonde"??? Can't talk in front of people?? Can't survive independence at site??? At first I was quite surprised because when I was back in Malaysia, my previous feedbacks have always highlighted that I am confident when it comes to work, and never timid. I have spoken and giving presentations numerous times - at work, being an emcee and giving career talks - heck, I conducted my own aerobics class 3x a week! I love going to site and get all excited (most of the time I didn't want to come home) because I knew I learnt a whole lot more at site than being in the office! Thus, I was quite unhappy on the way back home last night, thinking that I do not deserve such comments- I was on defensive mode. I was angry and frustrated.

However as I slept through it, I woke up this morning suddenly thinking that my Mentor might just be right. I realised I wasn't as proactive as when I was in Malaysia. I realised that I do feel intimidated sometimes with my western colleagues, especially knowing that you're not native. There were times when I rather be quiet than voicing out, too worried if I might just ask a stupid question. There were times when I still have the mentality that "I am new here - don't wanna show off too much", (which is definitely a safe net if you're in Malaysia). There were times when I rather be comfortable as a follower than a leader because I don't want people to talk behind my back. So maybe she's right after all? Maybe I have turned myself into a "giggly blonde" who lacks confidence and independence??!!!

After all that thinking (with numerous sticks of M7Lites later!), I have now decided that I shall take it all in my stride and instead of wasting time being angry (the traditional Melayu defensive route), I shall improve myself and show my Mentor (and everyone else!) that I am NOT a giggly blonde anymore. I am so fired up and I will complete my Chartered application and prove that I am a competent, assertive, proactive and qualified Engineer!

So, first things first... I have to go colour my hair - it shall be back to black now!