Day 24 - Update

I have been very bad at updating my blog! But I have kept my food diary in check though. I am now on Day 24.

The past 2 weeks was an up & down roller-coaster ride for me. Last weekend was my birthday and I had great fun with friends and family. Diet wise, I kinda blew it that long weekend (Day 16-18) - skipping my shakes for yummy nasi minyak and lamb chops! Though Hubby re-assured me that I needed the treat coz birthdays come once a year and i should celebrate. Problem was I kinda over-indulge myself and by Tuesday (Day 19), I felt so guilty I got depressed. Angela called me up and advised that it was alright to indulge as long as I am aware and have the determination to get up and go on. So I did.

The following days (Days 20 till now) I got myself in the routine again - shakes for breakfast, yummy lunch, shakes for dinner and 8 glasses of water with my exercise twice a week. Next week I will go to the gym 3x a week pulak and try that out.

Yesterday I met up with my girlfriends for a yummy lunch at Vinneapolis - it was lovely! The food was extra yummy and the company was great as usual. Though I'm quite sad I couldn't join them for their slumber party. I'm sure they had a blast. I just had to say no coz I have my report to finish.

Yes... my overdue report. I have now managed to finish the overall draft and now it's all typing and 'cosmetically improve' it to make it sound good! It's a challenge coz the sun is shining ever so nicely and my birthday gift cards are like calling my name to bring them to the shops and spend.... sigh.... But I realised that if I don't finish this bloody report soon, I will always carry this guilt in me and I can never enjoy my weekends as much as I want to. I have come to a point where I'm just sick and tired of it not being finished!

OK, enough whining. Got to get back to work!

Day 9 - Result and Reward

This morning, I nervously stepped on the scale. After 1 week of following the diet (with a bit of oopsy here and there) I have lost 2 kilos!!! Yes, My weight dropped from 62.1kg to 60kg!!!! Hooorrrraaayyyyy!!! (Clap, Clap,Clap!) I also took my body measurements and lost a total of 13cm!!! Double Hoorrraaayyyy!!! (Clap, Clap, Clap!)

So, I decided to reward myself and dragged Hubby to drive to London and I splurged to stock up on my facial stuff!!!! Hooorrrayyyy!!!.. Aish, ni baru seminggu dah over gak lah... but tak kisah mmmuuahahahahaa... (err though when the credit card bill arrives, I'll have the last laugh lah kannnn... eheh..).

We also met the Atanmayas for a lovely Sausage&Mash dinner at Portobello. We missed them dearly so it was a really good night out!

Day 6, 7 & 8 - Settling in

These 3 days I have noticed an improvement. I am not as hungry as the first few days. In fact I don't feel the urge to snack anymore. I guess my body is settling into the diet routine. I realised I'm more comfortable of having the shake in the morning, then a good normal meal for lunch and have the shake for dinner instead. This works better for me because the normal meal at lunch keeps my hunger at bay till dinner and I have more energy at work. Also, a shake for dinner works well as I don't do much at home anyways and Haidan keeps me occupied to not think about the lovely dinner Mama cooks. Since I don't want to miss out on Mama's cooking, I'll pack dinner for next day's lunch! Thus, I still have Mama's lovely cooking and save lunch money as well :)

Exercise wise, I have made the commitment to walk from my office to Leatherhead station instead of taking the coach - well it was easier this week coz the weather was lovely! Went to the gym on Friday (Day 8) and noticed I had more energy, compared to the first few times last week - I could barely survive 3 squats and was huffing & puffing when doing the bicep curls!!!

On my charteredship progress, Hubby was very kind to help type out my draft notes... (thank you sayang!!), since I type very slowly - I'm still those people who just can't hafal the keyboard and pauses every 3 seconds to check the screen for every word I type hehe...

Day 4 & 5

Day 4 - tried breakfast and lunch with shakes and a good meal (salad with chicken kiev) for dinner. Was struggling during the day sebab lapar giler!! Tu-lah dia kannn, dah biasa makan banyak for lunch and munching bebagai! Anyways, went to gym so felt quite good :)

Day 5 - Effects of the gym has kicked in :( Feet were numb and my tummy felt sore.... Had shakes for breakfast in train, then decided to have lunch instead in the office. Semangat berkobar to replace my dinner with a shake was greatly dampened when Mama surprised me with her Nasi Ayam + Sago Gula Melaka dish on the dinner table. The hearty meal is to celebrate my inlaws last night here in the UK before they leave for KL tomorrow. So, errr.. so decided to skip shake and had a small portion of Mama's yummy nasi ayam with a teeny spoonful of sago. Aiiisshshhhh... camner nie????

Anyways, Hubby uploaded the pictures taken from the past couple of weeks while inlaws are around. Here's some of Haidan's best moments:

"Can someone please move this thing out of my way??? Taaa...."


"Jalan-jalan cari makan...."


"Step by step...- me doing a Joey NKOTB impression with Nenek Yah as my errr...background prop"


"My cheeky chicken poxy facey"

Day 3 - Lazy Sunday

I decided to stay home today coz dah menggelabah lah kann report tak siap lagi!

Morning I had my shake while everyone else had toast for breakfast. Haidan was so sweet- he noticed I wasn't eating like everyone else, and so he kept on offering me some of his peanut butter toast! Thank you sayang!... I did nip a bit sebab nak jaga hati dia kannn... don't want to expose him to rejection at this tender young age you see... eheh..

Lunch I was a bit stronger to resist the temptation of a whole bowl of mee bandung my family was having. I did have 3 spoonfuls just to taste from Hubby's portion and carried on sipping my shake. I didn't feel guilty because I think it's quite important that I don't be too strict on myself, but at the same time not to overindulge and break the diet. I think change should be done slowly and steadily... at the end of the day I am looking for a long-term result.

All I want to do is to be able to fit in my old clothes again. Technically, this means that my goal is to achieve my ideal weight of 50kg (I'm now 62kg) by 30 Sept 2009. So I have 5 months to lose 12kg, hoping to never gain it back!

Career wise, my aim is to get my Charteredship submitted by end of June. Don't want to delay this further... OK, guess I have to go and start work again. I still have a report to finish and submit tomorrow!

Day 2 - Portabello Market

My Day 2 was an ad-hoc chaotic disaster!

I have to say that the Tea Mix really kept me awake- I slept quite late last night and ended up waking late this morning! So, had my first shake at 11am and rasa tak puas sangat sebab lapar lagi! So I had a few cucur udang for brunch as well! Hmmm... not a good start lah kannnn...

Then, Hubby announced that he wants to go to Portabello Market. Since I have not been to it before I decided to tag along too. Portabello was lovely - its just their version of our pasar malam. Though they have more antiques and we have more food je lah! Managed to tempis godaan Hummingbird and crepes dengan sukses! Hey, it was not easy OK munching on tasteless protein bars while Hubby, my inlaws and Haidan gobbled on Paela, chips, pastries etc in front of my face! Everytime Hubby lovingly goes "Mmmm Yummmmy" on his next bite of food he bought, I gave him my ultraman pose and reached my handbag for my bottle of water - hoping that every tasteless gulp will protect me from his devilish attack!

After 3.5 hours of walking down Portabello road (yup, it took that long coz I had to stop to wee-wee every 3 minutes.. eheh), we then went to Pottersfield to enjoy the fantastic view of Tower Bridge amidst the wonderful weather. Haidan was enjoying himself walking through the water fountains and playing peek-a-boo with the art-statues around. Dinner was at Malaysia Hall and we left home & caught up with Britain's Got talent :)

My progress:
* Charteredship - errr.. none!
* Diet:
Mid-morning: Formula 1 shake & Formula 2 with cucur udang at 11am
Day: Protein Bar at 1pm & 3pm. Formula 1 shake & Formula 2 at 5pm
Evening: Yummy Yong Tau Foo at 9pm.
Water: Lost count, so say approximately 3x750ml lah. (Though the amount of times I went to the toilet seems like I drank the whole of river Thames!)

Day 1 - Sutton Library

I woke up early this morning dengan penuh semangat, had my first Herbalife shake (Strawberry with Soya Milk) and my usual Berrocca and vitamins. Packed all my stuff and got Haidan ready for the day. I left home around 11am and went straight to the library.

This was my first ever visit to Sutton Library - wow! I didn't expect it was quite good. The library had the normal books and all but also a media centre with loads of cds, audio books and the latest dvds as well. The best part of the library was the children's section - it was a secluded area with loads of books and play centre - I was already imagining bringing Haidan there once in 2 weekends! The only setback was that there were loads of college kids around coz I think exam period is coming. So, it was quite difficult to find a kiasu spot for me to do my work. I ended up sharing a long table with some college kids. I settled in quickly and kept telling myself "Stop procrastinating, stop procrastinating...". I could sense the minah college beside me was rather uneasy at times.. hehehe.

Progress wise for my IET report was not excellent, but good enough. I managed to finally sit through all my past PPA forms from PETRONAS and highlighted the projects I want to include. I also finished writing the draft Gap Report for Kate to proceed to sign me off on some tasks that I've done in PETRONAS so that I won't be expecting to do in KBR for my Chartered application process.

Before this I get so overwhelmed by the amount of work that needs to be done, that I kept procrastinating on finding the perfect day/ time/ mood to finish ALL at once. So far, that brought me a step back instead of a step forward. So I am going to divide and conquer and achieve small tasks one by one to make it easier for me. Here's my plan:
* By this weekend 19/4/09 - complete Gap Report and fill in IET form with PETRONAS experience list and competencies. Submit to Kate on Monday 20/4.
* By next weekend 26/4/09 - complete Jan-March quarterly report and go through KBR list of work. Submit to Kate on Monday 27/4.
* By 3/5/09 - complete IET form with KBR experience list and competencies. Submit to Kate on Tuesday 5/5/09.
* By end of May - Finalise draft for IET submission.

Diet wise, here's my progress:
Morning: Formula 1 shake & Formula 2 at 8.30am, Protein Bar at 10.30am (lapar dah!)
Day: Formula 1 shake & Formula 2 at 1.30pm, Protein Bar at 4.30pm
Evening: Chicken kiev, loads of salad and 1/2 cup nasi goreng at 7.30pm.
Water: I managed to gulp the 3x750ml water bottle (tea mix & plain)! Hooorrraaayyyy (Clap, clap, clap)

My verdict: I found I wasn't tired at all (which was really good), I had so much energy throughout the day... akan tetapi I noticed I get hungry by 10am and 4pm. By dinner tu perut dah berbunyi siap!

Family Support

I got my Herbalife products today!!! Hoorrraaaayyyy!!!! (Clap, clap, clap)

Angela briefed me on which is which, what I need to do and what I have to avoid. She passed me a 30-day diary for me to track in my progress. She promised she'll call often to check on me as well.

So this is it.... I am going on a diet journey. Today is officially Day Zero.

In a bid to show her supportive spirit, Mama has kindly volunteered to help taking my "before" measurements. As she was struggling to pull the measurement tape across my tummy, I told her that I was quite worried to start this, you know.. whether I was ready to let go 2 hearty meals a day for a glass of milkshake instead... she bluntly replied, "Oh my God with this measurements- you are so damn ready!!!". Apparently, she insisted that by giving a reverse psycho support, I will be all fired up and geared to go.... (errr... thanks Ma...).

Hubby on the other hand decided to celebrate by surprising me with a gift. I was quite shocked coz he usually sucks at surprises, I didn't see this one coming at all (Ni mesti case lega lepas ni dah tak yah nak layan my crazy-last-minute-lunch-cravings). Nope, it wasn't a weighing machine nor an exercise DVD but the heavenly 1gazillion-caloried-Red-Velvet-Cupcake!!!... Apparently, he insisted that it is the ultimate Day Zero treat to show his support....(errr.. thanks Ayang..).

And Haidan?? Oh not wanting to miss his part, Haidan surprised us all the most by deciding to crawl to me and for the first time ever - stood up all on his own and gave me a big round of applause!! Hooorrrayyyyy!!!!



So, as I munch my last Red Velvet cupcake with Haidan still clapping in the background, I hereby declare that "This Is It- Bring it Onnnn!!!!"

The first steps...

... is definitely the hardest, or should I say the most expensive!

To report my progress on my Chartered application, yesterday I officially submitted for 1 day leave this Friday. I plan to go to the library in Sutton, sit down and start completing my IET reports. So if I don't do it, I have wasted one good day- which could be spent with Haidan or at work compiling overtime hours!

To report my progress on my weight loss programme, Angela from Herbalife called me last night and introduced herself and the products. She seems like a really nice lady. She's been with the product for 5 years now and have done personal diet coaching ever since. I chose Herbalife because I'm counting on Angela to give me the support I need. I think I work better with a mentor guiding me because I am the Queen of Procrastination (and obviously Hubby's my King). So, yesterday I dashed out £1** for the whole starter set and she's coming in this evening to brief and get my measurements. Plus I have paid my gym fees to start on my personal training 3-4x a week at TWIST. So kalau tak kurus jugak, can someone please TWIST my ear and bite me!

Cucur Udang...

... Tak sampai 2 minit I talked myself to start on a diet, Mama presented me with a plate of freshly fried Cucur Udang with Lingham chilli sauce and Kopi-O on the table.

She said it's her Thank You treat for me helping to colour her hair this afternoon.

So in view that I don't want to offend my mom for not accepting her gesture of appreciation, I shall devour the Cucur Udang out of respect and start my diet tomorrow.

Wake Up Call

I haven't been blogging because I was lazy.... tho to defend myself, I have been busy too, both at work and at home. Unlike Hubby who has access to the net 24hrs on his fingertips, I can only browse the net when I'm at home. Which is highly unlikely since Haidan is growing up too fast that I'm on my toes most of the time till he's in bed. And highly likely that I will terbabas with him in bed till morning.

Mama has arrived safely in the UK since last month. So, she has been a great help at home. I am so happy and thankful she's here! At least kurang lah sikit beban nak masak and do the laundry kat umah.

Anyways, the reason I made an entry today is that the last couple of days have been an eye-opening experience for me, which I think deserves a post so that I am constantly reminded to wake up and stop procrastinating.

You see, I have always procrastinated that I will complete my Charteredship. My boss have been patiently reminding me that I need to get it done as soon as possible. Most of the time I will nod in approval and 10 minutes later I am back being lazy. So last Thursday on the way home from work, I bumped into Carolina - a colleague of mine. She is a year younger and attained her Charteredship late last year. I asked her how she's doing since I have not met her for quite some time. Well, turned out she is now a Senior Engineer in a project I so wanted to be in... but didn't qualify because the minimum requirement is to have a CEng. It then dawned on me that if Carolina (with 1 year less experience) can do it, why can't I?? - Wake Up Adita!

Also, since I gave birth to Haidan I have not been exercising nor watching my diet. I remembered the last time I went home to KL with Haidan (at 3 months) in tow, and my aunties can't stop commenting on how much weight I have gained. I didn't care at that time coz I know that I will strive to lose the weight anyways once Haidan's a year old. Now, he's nearly 2 and I still wear 2 dress sizes larger than I used to. Yesterday evening while munching a bag of biskut bantal followed closely by a bag of Hershey chocs, I suddenly feel so heavy and dizzy. The wake up call came when Hubby was downloading the pictures we took into the laptop when I just saw myself! I looked so big! I have been eating more than normal the past few weeks and I realised I don't have the energy and dread waking up in the morning coz I feel so heavy. So, this overweight business needs to stop coz now it's effecting my health dah - Wake Up Adita!

So, from now on I will try to update myself with my progress. So here goes:
What have I done today for my Charteredship progress?
1) Found my Petronas PPR folder containing all my previous experience list
2) Downloaded the IET form on my laptop

What have I done today for my 'get back in shape' progress?
1) Made an appointment tomorrow to sign up at TWIST gym
2) Made a query for someone from Herbalife to contact me

I know the above does not make a difference but at least I'm moving an inch, rather than procrastinating and not moving at all.

Haidan's Handphone

Haidan's Breakfast

I'm waiting...

for Mummy Vas and Mummy Mate to arrive...



Oh, please let the days go quick... I so can't wait!

Ooops I did it again!

Britney, here I come!!!




After NKOTB in January, I'll be off to Britney's concert pulak. Hoorrraaayyyyy!!! Marisa & I managed to get really good seats.

I love Britney, despite what she went through. For her to come back after all that is something I tabik boing-boing.

I so cant wait!!!!

Happy Birthday Haidan!

Look who turns 1 today!!!


Me!!!

In the morning, Mama & Papa took me to the nursery to celebrate my birthday with my friends. They prepared a small cake for me with a big no '1' candle, and sang Happy Birthday.


Unfortunately I wasn't too well the night before. I had tummy ache and a temperature, so I couldn't stay long at the nursery with my friends. Mama & Papa had to bring me home. Since it's my birthday, Mama & Papa let me play whatever I want and I am allowed to watch as much tv too... Hoorrraaayyyy!!!



In the evening, we headed off to Kakak Azmarea's house. On the way, we were supposed to pick up my birthday cake, but as usual, Papa got lost. We were stuck in traffic and the shop was closing soon! Thank God, Uncle Alan was nearby and he managed to pick up the cake for us on time! Hoorrayyy for Uncle Alan who saved the day!

When we got there, we were so happy to see all the food and decorations ready for my party, all thanks to Aunty Marisa!! Everything was red and everyone was in red too! The food was yummy. We had potato&minced pie with chicken nuggets. The adults had nasi with ayam masak lemak, beefballs, sweet sour fish, fruit salad and cheesecake. Well done Aunty Marisa, thank you!!!


The best part of the day was when they surprised me with my birthday cake. It was lovely! A big chocolate number '1' with red deco and a teddy bear. It was really yummy too! I loved it!




Next, Mama helped me open my birthday presents. Kakak Azmarea and Brother Yusuff helped me out too. I love the presents and can't wait to play with them. Thank you everyone!!!



Wow, birthdays are so much fun!!! I can't wait for my next one!

A year ago today...

I was in a happy mood celebrating my last day of work before I leave for my maternity leave. Then, Haidan was due to arrive on the 1st Dec- so I had plenty of time to go shop for baby stuff (yup, we weren't ready at all then). I remembered bringing big tupperwares of nasi goreng to jamu my colleagues who planned a lunch party for me. We didn't do much work that day coz everyone was in a relaxing mood since it was a Friday and they all couldn't wait for the weekend.

This year is so different. Well, obviously I'm no more pregnant (tho I still do look like it! Darn... too much Mochachino lah nie!). And work has been piling up for us this past few months- so colleagues were not as jolly as they were last year. Weather has been horrible too- raining and cold. I rarely get time off at home as well with Haidan now crawling and cruising. He's definitely into the "Now you see him, now you don't!" stage. Plus, with the winter and all, he gets sleepy earlier nowadays, so whatever free time I have are all spent with my (not-so) little baby. Therefore, my favourite pastimes of blog-hopping and facebooking have to be put on hold.

I'm also so excited and can't wait till we move into our new home. I wanted to post the pictures up but Hubby won't let me coz he knows I'll be too excited and get myself too into it, so if anything happens nanti- I will be depressed and disappointed. So, until all the paperwork is confirmed and done, I shall not jinx it (yet!). Tho, I really can't help myself looking at furniture and kitchen appliances dah... suddenly Mama's Home&Garden magazine seems to be more appealing than my usual doses of celeb chronicles.

Oh, how time passes by so fast. Haidan's going to be 1 next week already! He's no more a baby :( So much has changed and my best friends have moved on too - Mate's so happy working in Amsterdam with Michal and they'll will be moving to their new home soon, Vas will be a tai-tai and are moving to Mumbai, Devina's in a plane somewhere around the world, Nina is expecting her 2nd baby... thank you God for blessing us all this past year.

Giggly blonde??

I had my performance appraisal yesterday. Due to some changes in the office, I was assessed by my mentor and lead instead of my manager. I knew it was going to be a bit uncomfortable because we were quite close.

As soon as we entered the room, I had to explain all my current year objectives and justify myself how I have achieved the expectations given to me. Compared to the previous year, this year was very challenging as I have been given the responsibility to do power system studies - a task usually done with people having more than 20 years experience. Therefore, I had to work extra hard this year meeting the requirements set in the office, with becoming a new mom and trying to learn the system as much as I can with the little time I have. Although I was happy that my mentor acknowledged that I performed well in my task, I was taken a back that she mentioned that the only thing that bothers her is that I portray a "giggly blonde" personality - which, by the first impression people may not take me seriously, and doubts my leadership skills. I might not have the confidence to give out presentations and might find it difficult should I be sent out to site on my own.

Hmmm.... me "giggly blonde"??? Can't talk in front of people?? Can't survive independence at site??? At first I was quite surprised because when I was back in Malaysia, my previous feedbacks have always highlighted that I am confident when it comes to work, and never timid. I have spoken and giving presentations numerous times - at work, being an emcee and giving career talks - heck, I conducted my own aerobics class 3x a week! I love going to site and get all excited (most of the time I didn't want to come home) because I knew I learnt a whole lot more at site than being in the office! Thus, I was quite unhappy on the way back home last night, thinking that I do not deserve such comments- I was on defensive mode. I was angry and frustrated.

However as I slept through it, I woke up this morning suddenly thinking that my Mentor might just be right. I realised I wasn't as proactive as when I was in Malaysia. I realised that I do feel intimidated sometimes with my western colleagues, especially knowing that you're not native. There were times when I rather be quiet than voicing out, too worried if I might just ask a stupid question. There were times when I still have the mentality that "I am new here - don't wanna show off too much", (which is definitely a safe net if you're in Malaysia). There were times when I rather be comfortable as a follower than a leader because I don't want people to talk behind my back. So maybe she's right after all? Maybe I have turned myself into a "giggly blonde" who lacks confidence and independence??!!!

After all that thinking (with numerous sticks of M7Lites later!), I have now decided that I shall take it all in my stride and instead of wasting time being angry (the traditional Melayu defensive route), I shall improve myself and show my Mentor (and everyone else!) that I am NOT a giggly blonde anymore. I am so fired up and I will complete my Chartered application and prove that I am a competent, assertive, proactive and qualified Engineer!

So, first things first... I have to go colour my hair - it shall be back to black now!

Moving Mama

We have to move out from our current flat. Our landlord wants the house back due to unforeseen circumstances. Hubby and I have been busy since the last month trying to find for a suitable place to live in by December 6th. That means when Vas comes to visit, she'll be busy babysitting Haidan while we pack and move.

On the other hand, we got news yesterday that Mama cannot come to the UK this December as planned. Apparently, they've changed the visa rules (again!) and she cannot apply for a 6 months visa in the same calendar year. Thus, Mama's visit must be postponed to January next year instead. Poor Mama, she was really looking forward to celebrating Haidan's 1st birthday and hanging out with Vas & Mate for Xmas. But she said, if it meant waiting for another month to spend more time with her family, then it's for the better.

I'm off work today and staying at home because Haidan is not feeling too well. He's been coughing the whole night last night and this morning he's got a temperature. Went to the GP, and she said Haidan caught the common winter flu and prescribed antibiotics. Phew, thank God it's the flu coz we were hoping that it wasn't his UTI! He's recovering well with the medicine and constant hugs and kisses now...

My emo moment

I haven't been blogging for quite a while. That's because a lot of things (both good and bad) has happened since my last post.

Since my last post, I was bogged down by work. I now have to leave very early in the morning to make sure I finish as much as I can before 5pm. Our report is due next week and I have to give a presentation to the client the following week.. eeeek! And of course, me having the best of luck- masa nak rush to print an urgent document tu lah printer paper jam lah, fire alarm bunyi lah, kopi tumpah lah... (sigh!)

Since my last post, Mate was here!!! We went for a short tour around London and then to the zoo and then jalan-jalan cari makan (note to self: must songlap pictures from her blog. Michal is so adorable...(you're so lucky Mate!)... though I think he might be scared of me now, knowing how garang I am with Hasli & Haidan.. eheh.... Though it's a short visit, I'm already missing her dearly... so can't wait for Xmas when she comes to visit again!

Since my last post, I realise how lucky I am to have good friends who are there to have a good laugh with and who are there to support when things go wrong. To my best friends Vas, Mate & Nina- thank you for your long distance calls. To my sisters Marisa, Mimi, Fay & Amy- thank you for putting a smile back to my face. I love you all so much!

Since my last post, Haidan has grown far too fast. He can now stand and cruise a bit, roll over (finally!) and shuffles. He mimics my laugh and loves to grab my hair for a kiss. He's beginning to be clingy as well, getting all emo when I leave the room. I will try and post his latest pictures once we.... errr... hmmm... find the camera.... (hmmm... ya lah, where's our camera ah??...)

Since my last post, an unexpected left me so stressed and insecure. What can you do when you really want something so bad, when that something is so perfect, it ticks all the boxes but it is not within your reach? Money you can always find.. but the perfect home is not easy to come by.... It brought tears to my eyes everytime I think of it, how beautiful it is and how close we were to achieving it. But alas, it's not me who makes the final decision...

Sigh.....