The most amazing 2 weeks of my life!

Below are some highlights of the wonderful time I had back home in Malaysia. How I wish that the 2 weeks did not end so soon :(

Monday 31/7:
Arrived in KLIA greeted by handsome Hubby.Headed home and showered Boboy & Baby with hugs and kisses. My best friends, Vas & Mate and their other halfs joined us for Mama's yummy home cooked dinner.

Tuesday 1/8:
The anticipated visit to OGP became a reality. With a heavy heart, I officially tendered my resignation to Tn Hj Abd Kader. Met most of my colleagues and had my much missed Chinoz-Carbonara-pasta-lunch with Hubby. Spent the night as VIPs for Nina's hen night at PNB Darby Park. Mate brought in yummy BBQ wings. As usual, loads of laughs and gossips galore! By midnight, everyone's half dead from the excitement..hehe.

Wednesday 2/8:
Nina's engagement day. She had to leave really early, leaving me, Vas & Mate spending the rest of the day at the hotel lepak-ing. Went to try out my bridesmaid dresses at Kak Emy's. As expected, I gained so much weight, she had to do some major 'renovations'.

Thursday 3/8:
Spent the day at home with Boboy & Baby. Later, went to Nina's to meet her family. First look at the wedding preparations... so cantik! I particularly loved the room deco, ala-ala Nusantara theme. Nina's hantaran were excellent too.




Friday 4/8:
The most important day of all! In the morning, it was the Nikah Day- Nina & Ezrul are officially married. So happy for you dearie!!!

Later, we celebrated another important celebration- Mama's birthday. Me, Hubby, Mama, Vas & Shashi had dinner at SouledOut in Hartamas. Happy Birthday Mama!!!


Saturday 5/8:
Nina's weeding reception at Pan Pacific Hotel. Hubby had to take the bidang terjun to be the best man for the night. We started off with a rehearsal led by Mahathir Lokman. Thank god for him as without his-no-nonsense strictness, we all will be lost that night. Everything was perfect.. except that Hubby forgot to bring down the camera, so couldn't capture the precious moments... Oh well, guess have to wait for the pics from Nina's photographers, Fiona & Alan (whose really cute, by the way.. hehe!). My best mates and their other halves spent the night at the hotel.

Sunday 6/8:
Treated to VIP breakfast and then rushed off to do hair & make-up. Rushed out again to Gombak for Nina's second reception. As usual, yours truly was kepoh to make sure everything's going as planned... and thank god, Hubby got the camera this time ;)

Later that night, we attended Saliza's wedding at Sheraton KL. Met our fellow Promuda mates. (Notice that Hubby & I maintained the same baju throughout the day.. hehe.. too malas to change la..)


Monday 7/8:
Dinner with Papa & family. Alhamdulillah, Papa is recovering well. Although Papa looks tired most of the time, it was good to see him smile again.. I really miss him. Also, met Jimmy, Papa's fat cat- he's so adorable. Hubby said he's growing so fast... he was just a small kitten a few months back!


Tuesday 8/8:
Went for the Puteri Gunung Ledang Musical at Istana Budaya with Mama, Hubby, Vas & Shashi. It was excellent! The set was amazing and the Hang Tuah is hot. Tiara reminds us of our wedding theme. I really think PGL has the potential for an international debut... who knows, one day Disney will make PGL the animation pulak, kan? But still overall, the PGL musical was a definite thumbs-up!



Wednesday 9/8:
Shopping day! Bought a nice MNG winter jacket.. When I wanted to pay for it, the cashier looked at me one kind and blurted sarcastically, "Nak gi Genting ker Kak???".... I just smiled... haiyo, sabor je lah! Sis Serina dropped by for tea. As usual, Hubby was busy & had a business dinner.. so me & Mama had McDonalds for dinner and later Vas & Shashi joined me for a CSI marathon at home.

Thursday 10/8:
Horraayy!!! Its Hubby's off day, so we spent time together at home and gave Boboy his long overdue bath! Boboy, as usual enjoyed himself being pampered and eksyen giler later with Baby after he's all fluffy and wangi..hehe.
Later that night, we all head off for a fun night of Karaoke!! Mate, the drama queen, has definitely won the best performance by far! We had so much fun- singing and dancing our hearts out! Though, the best surprise for all of us was Hubby, who was so shy at first... but then at the end, kemain lagi lah... siap tarik lagu Sejati Awie tuh....

Friday 11/8:
Nina's wedding reception at Kelab Darul Ehsan. We were all so glamourly dressed up. Hubby, Shashi & Ezrul were in suits lagi.. hehe.


Saturday 12/8:
Me & Hubby went goreng pisang hunting, but unfortunately my favourite stall 'emergency leave' for the weekend. I was devastated coz I really looked forward for the goreng pisang :( Hubby belanja me jalan-jalan cari makan at Setiawangsa pasar malam instead. We dropped by at Mak Wa's house for tea. Later that night, Vas & Shashi joined us to Nina's for her farewell party. The pengat durian and cake was so sedap... Joined in for Musical Chairs. Surprisingly Hubby got in the final top 4 in the male category while I suck at the female one (I think I was the first few to be kicked out, followed closely by Vas & Nina, hehe!)


Sunday 13/8:
Spent the day with Hubby packing my stuff and then had tea at GE Mall. By 8pm, I was already in tears hugging and kissing Boboy goodbye. We left home and head to Taman Tun for dinner with my in-laws. Then, rushed off to the airport. Checking in wasn't too bad, but the letting go of your loved ones at the airport was the difficult part.

Thank you to Hubby, Vas, Nina & Mate for the most amazing 2 weeks of my life. I miss you all :(

My Dubai Holiday

OK, as promised here are the highlights photos of my trip to Dubai. We had a great time there visiting my best friend, Mar. (Thanks dearie for all the help and hospitality, will miss you dearly and hope to see you soon again!)

On the first day itself, Mar booked me and Serina on the Desert Safari trip. Our driver, Hasim (I think...) picked us up on a 4WD, and were soon joined with 4 other members. We then headed off to the desert and with several other 4WD, we roughed it out through the dunes... unbelievable! Up & down the sandy terrains.. rasa macam we were on a roller coaster ride!




After about 2 hours, we then reached the camp site where we had more fun activities. There were camel rides, henna body painting, shishas, BBQ kebabs and some belly dancing. It was amazing and I truly had so much fun.



The next couple of days were basically spending time with Mar. We went to Wild Wadi Waterpark and of course, shopping!

I'm back in Manchester

After a tiring journey aboard Emirates from KL-Dubai, transit shopping in Dubai for 4 hrs and then Dubai-Manchester, I;m finally home in my apartment yesterday afternoon. As usual, messed up the house with my luggage unpacked and piling laundry and posts. Went out to town for some mini grocery shopping and back home feeling so lapar. Ordered curry delivery and then off to bed at around 9pm.

I woke up at 9am, had breakfast and now taking a rest before I start cleaning up the mess from yesterday.

After the gruelling flight experience, it felt good to be home in Manchester... but definitely feeling down and lonely without my loved ones. Miss Hubby, Boboy and my dear friends back home :(

Can't wait to get this dissertation done and over with and go home....

Coming soon...

It has been 2 weeks since I left UK and am really sorry that I couldn't drop a note as I was kept occupied the whole time with Dubai and Nina's wedding preps. Having so much fun until demam terus! Heheh...

I will be back shortly with pics and updates.

Packing to go home...

Oh my, I'm so tired. Today was a full marathon. Rushed to uni to hand in the report to Dr Pasir, rushed to town to get my hair cut (which is really nice.. I like...), had a fun girly make-over & photoshoot with sis Serina (bought some really nice potraits to surprise Hubby), rushed home and cook a 3 course dinner and then spent the whole night hanging out with my dearest friends. Now, taking a breather coz I have to sort out my packing back home.

The house is in a total mess. Clothes, shoes, books everywhere! The hardest bit is that I have to finish it tonight, but tonight seems to be the warmest summer night ever! I've taken my shower 3 times already, and planning to have another one soon. Not only is it uncomfortable, it also makes your brain stops responding and sleepy.

But alas, I still have to go through it... my only motivation to carry on is that I'll get to see Hubby, Mama, my dear friends and of course my little darlings- Boboy & Baby... I miss them so much and can't wait to give them a big huge hug.

But till then... its packing time :(

Sober over Saber

I woke up really early this morning (thanks to my sleeping pills) and got off to uni to present Dr Pasir with my report. Unfortunately, he wants me to re-do the work and present the new simulation case instead. I was like huh???... apa ni??? I spent hours last night preparing the old case, and now he wants the new case pulak???

So, the next couple of hours, I was pestering the PhD students to help me install Saber in my brand new Windows in a Mac... However, today is just not my day as it didn't install properly on my Mac. I was so tension!!! I spent £100 to put this bloody Windows in, and at the end I can't even install the bloody Saber software!!

So, I decided to do my simulation marathon, non-stop 50 simulations from 12.30 to 7pm. I really wanna get this done and over with!! So tension la macam ni, kalau tak sempat now... I'll never get my dissertation sorted. I was the last one to leave uni and nearly got locked inside!

So, now I'm back home and trying to install it in my old dusty Dell.. hope it works. My Dell is so slow, considering there's only 6GB left anyways. Had to use the long-cut way of transferring the files from the CD to the external HD and then back into the Dell PC... all this hard work because my darling Hubby jahanam-kan the CD drive... thanks a lot dear >:/

Procrastination rulez... again :(

I didn't do my work last night because it was really hot. Went to bed but I woke up in the middle of the night again to have a cold drink, as I was literally sweating. It was really bad... This morning I woke up feeling so uncomfortable and moody. Dragged myself out of bed and went to the PC store to install Windows on my MacBook Pro.

Yup, my Mac now has Windows.. no, not that I want to switch to Windows, but I just had to coz Dr Pasir finally agreed to let me install a lanun copy of the software for my simulation, so that I can try to complete them while I'm back in Malaysia. I think we are nearly there.. only a few final touches before I can proceed to do my write-up. In a way, there's a slight sense of regret that I had to go home, coz I definitely can finish my work in the next 3 weeks... and I don't have to worry about rushing my dissertation write-up. But nothing I can do now... I've already committed to Nina. (Nina, you owe me big time!.. heheh)

So I suspected that I will of course not do anything for the first 2 weeks at home, being busy with Dubai & the wedding... but expect the worst mood swings and high anxiety bitchiness for the last week in Malaysia when I need privacy to finish up my work... Poor Hubby will suffer for sure ;)

As for this weekend, I'll be busy writing up a progress report for Dr Pasir's meeting with the project sponsor, Rolls Royce. Their rep, Dr Suami will be coming over on Tuesday next week to check up on the results. Fortunately, I won't be around to take the slaughter (coz I'll be busy with sis Serina for our one day hair & beauty make-over at the Burlington Salon). But, Dr Pasir has already warned me to come up with a good progress report on Monday morning to be presented to Dr Suami.

So, actually I got everyhing sorted out... tinggal nak tulis the report je...Ishhh, I need to overcome this awful procrastination that has been looming over me for quite some time la. Everytime I want to start writing up my dissertation, I can have mllions of excuses later not to do it. Why can't an MSc just have classes & exams?! Haiiyyaaa... if I can't survive this, thank god I didn't do the PhD.

So malas want to start....This is bad la... how ah??

I love Sales :)

Today, surprisingly I woke up really late and felt so sluggish. By the time I reached uni it was 2.30pm. Managed to make some progress by impressing Dr Pasir on some mistakes he made in yesterday's calculation. Tried out 3 simulations and nearly fell asleep. I knew then that it was time to leave and get some fresh air.

So, I headed to town again, this time much earlier than yesterday. The plan was to exchange Hubby's teeshirt, get Mama's scarves and Kraznee's baby bajus... then balik terus, no excuses. Well errr... ended up did get the stuff, but added some more stuff for myself... coz the whole town is on sale!!! Hooray!!! Since the sale is ending this weekend, loads of stuff are further reduced. So, of course this is an opportunity that one must always grab before its too late!

Apart from buying Hubby's, Mama's & Kraznee's, I ended up splurging on a nice linen cardi from Zara, 2 summer dresses, 1 top & undies from H&M and some good quality fru-fru stationaries from Muji. I have no regrets, in fact am very proud coz the cardi from Zara was further reduced by £10, H&M has buy-1-sale-item-get-another-free and all Muji stylo-mylo stationaries were at 75% off (heheh... Hubby mesti jealous!)... Aaaahhh, bless... as I walked home, I felt a sense of achievement and sheer satisfaction...

When I got home, I cooked dinner and cleaned up the house.. and as usual, paraded the latest buys around the apartment.. tonight I'm going to bed with a big smile on my face :)

Double the work, double the pressure

I have exactly 7 days from today to leave for Dubai & home. So, the thought of it made me work really hard in uni to finish up all my simulations and by 6pm, I was showing Dr Pasir the results, hoping that he'll be happy with it and I can then continue to the next stage.

Unfortunately, the results were not what he expected. So, he happily asked me to change the dimensions and re-do the damn thing again! He said its all part and parcel of research, trial and error is the way to learn. I was like.. huh?? apa ni??? ("Do you know who I am?!!.. kan Devina, heheh)

Anyways, to calm myself down I decided to do some retail therapy in town- faced the blazing sun and walked all the way to Zara, only to find it was already closed!!! Damn it!

So, walked back all the way in the blazing sun home and treated myself to you-tube till late night.

Now, its double the work and double the pressure... can't take this lah!!! OK lah, wanna go watch DVD with sis Serina..

Wish me luck besok!

Loads to do, so little time!

Yesterday, I was summarising the things that still need to be done for my dissertation. Oh my God... there's so much to do la.... and I have less than a week to finish it before I go home....

The thing that's bothering me is that I can't get myself out of bed at all in the mornings and by the time I get ready, it's already noon. So I have only half day to finish up my piling simulations! I think I need to get help. It sounds like the symptoms of depression... how ah??

So, its nearly 1pm and 'm just about to leave for uni. I'm so scared to face Dr Pasir, coz I haven't been really serious with work lately. Hope he'll be nice to me today.

Wish me luck!

Let's Start Work!!!

Yup, its my Hubby's birthday today... and to celebrate it, I'm officially back to work... hehehe. I received my final results in the post yesterday and I got all 1st!!! Yippeee!!! I truly didn't expect it because I thought I did really bad with Dr Kapas's paper... hence my demotivation to work hard on the dissertation. But since, I still have a chance to get a distinction in my MSc, I got really fired up now.. I'll have to do well in my dissertation to maintain a distinction.

So, last night I enjoyed my last DVD and hopefully my last late nighter (I slept at 4am!) and today woke up feeling motivated to start writing up. Devina, who joined me for lunch yesterday gave me the inspiration to start writing up as well, as she has started hers. I took the courage to say NO to my manager to not work anymore in the reception and I'm not going to uni today... so it will give me plenty of time to start off, and hopefully finish off at the end of the day. Tomorrow I'll show Dr Pasir my report for a first draft.. at least I know early if I'm on track or totally out of way with my project. Currently, its still a bit blurr.. but I can't justify for clarification if I haven't sit down properly and write it out, right???

Thus, its gonna be a busy day for me today. I really hope I can do this and get it done and over with! So, to my dearest MacBook Pro- lets start working!!!

With love....

To my dearest Hubby,

Sorry I can't be with you to celebrate, which makes me really sad :(

I promise, when all this is over, we can be together again and will never miss spending time together for our birthdays ever, OK.

May all your wishes come true, sayang.

Happy Birthday.

Pirates of the Caribbean

Today was a busy day. Woke up late as usual, and rushed to work. Then rushed to meet Dalina for a good lunch out. Managed to pop in uni for a few productive project simulations and then off home to cook dinner and have a good nap. Me and sis Serina then headed off to town to watch Pirates of the Caribbean... I loved it! Very good movie and Johnny Depp deserves an award, he's so talented and funny. Must see movie :)

Not too good news

I got everything sorted today. Woke up really early, had breakfast and head to work at the reception. I thought that today, everything will be a perfect start for my new life of a more disciplined student and on my way to become a good UK expat. Got so fired up and motivated.... until my mate Kraznee called.

Kraznee has always been my 'internal spy', updating me with the latest goss and happenings in KL. So far, he's been excellent. And today was no exception, he broke the most important news ever - our company's new policy. I received his 'internal' circular on the latest resignation policy - we have to pay back our infamous outstanding bond within 14 days! Oh my God... I quickly broke the news to Hubby, and we are all still in shock. Where am I going to fork out RM60k within 14 days!!!

After much calculation and a big headache, I'm now waiting for Hubby's response. Surely, me & Mama can't ever afford that large sum of money.. is this the end of my dream to become a Chartered Engineer here??? I'm freaking out! Its too late to turn back on the PhD offer, plus.. after my discussion with Dr Kapas a few days back, doing a PhD while sacrifising to build a family in the next 3 years, is no more a feasible option for me. I want to have kids within the next 3 years. My clock is ticking & my maternal instincts is increasing... yes, I want a baby of my own soon.

Thank God I didn't shoot out the resignation email to Yusman this week... at least there's still a chance to back out... though, honestly speaking, I don't want to back out now. I'd rather be poor first, but then realise that its all for the better. If I don't accept this opportunity now, I will never ever get the chance again.

So, Hubby.. please help do something... I'm counting on you dearie... Meanwhile, I'm off to uni now and hopefully can concentrate on my work as planned... (I doubt it!)

Not feeling too well....

Yesterday was a big achievement for me. I woke up early, went to work and finished my duties at the reception office smoothly and went straight to the uni to face Dr Kapas. We talked about my situation and I explained on my preference to work. Dr Kapas was really understanding. Although I can see that he was devastated, he adviced me that I should choose whats best for me and not for him. At the end of it, we mutually agreed that my PhD is officially withdrawn. It was really sad... but I felt a big sigh of relief after.

I then continued to do my simulations with Dr Pasir. At last, I got it right and we were really excited about it. He told me I'm ready for the next stage. Oh good! Hopefully everything goes well before I head home to KL. Not long after that KBR called and confirmed that they've received my forms. I then met my Chevening mates for dinner at this Spanish restaurant and had this amazing seafood tapas platter... Hmmm... so sedap. I was such in a good mood, I felt a burst of good karma around me.

So, in order to reward myself, I decided to relax the whole night and watch a DVD. I watched Batman Begins and it was a good one... Everything is so fine... until I decided to be greedy and watch ANOTHER DVD with a huge mug of Milo... I ended up going to bed at 4am....

Today, I woke up at 1.30pm with this BIG headache and BAD mood swing.. I didn't turn up for work, and am so late to go to uni!!! I'm so angry at myself now... From today onwards, no more sleeping after 12am, and no more Milo before bed!!! I'm so sluggish, moody and don't feel like moving anywhere.. its disgusting! This yo-yo needs to stop immediately!

Am I doing the right thing????

To my surprise and amazament, I woke up fairly early today. I got off the bed and straight into the shower, getting ready and then filled in the finishing touches of my KBR acceptance form. I was ready to face the day - my plan was to march straight to the post office to post the KBR forms, face Dr Kapas to withdraw the PhD offer and shoot an email to Yusman to resign.

As I walked down Oxford Road, suddenly I felt a burst of anxiety, I had cold sweat and my heart was beating so fast... I heard voices in my head... "Are you sure you wanna do this??", "Damn it, its a full scholarship & you let it go just like that?", "Oh my God, you're making a big mistake!!"... suddenly I saw visions of myself at my PhD graduation, my own personal office in PGTS and a site trip with Dr Kapas investigating wind turbine blades! Oh my God, I freaked out!!!

I quickly took a detour and head to uni instead. I rushed down to Dr Pasir's office, turned on my computer and just stared at the monitor... (luckily, Dr Pasir walked in and gave me that "oh-you're-here-and-you're-so-rajin-i'm-proud-of-you-look"). Little did he know that the serious look I had on my face had nothing to do with my dissertation at all! I took several deep breaths to calm myself down and sent an sms to Hubby for life support.... as usual, Hubby called me straight away.

Hubby was on the phone calming me down and began his normal lectures to fight my fears etc... I wasn't really listening, to be honest... I was such in a state of shock, I just went totally blank... by the time I got myself together, Hubby was summarising his concluding remarks...

Though I must say that out of all the people I seek advice from, 80% would want me to work instead. So, if a PhD is not what I really want, then why do I always daydream about it?? Why is it that I never seem to see myself wearing the red KBR jacket??? Why is it that everytime I think of KBR, I can see Dr Kapas & Petronas people surrounding me with knives & daggers, just waiting to attack?!" Oh my God... I think I'm going mad...

By noon, I took the courage and walked to the post office and finally sent off the forms. I then headed to uni and like a miracle, Dr Kapas was at the front entrance.. as though waiting for me. Of course, I stuttered and blurted out that I might not wanna do the PhD... and like a true gentleman, Dr Kapas nodded, smiled and said, "You sure?? You don't look too sure... Never mind... go home, have a good rest and think about it again tonight dear... I'll see you again tomorrow at my office after lunch"

I was like.. huh?? apa ni???

BBQ & procrastination

Last Friday we had a BBQ for our department, it was really nice to see all my mates again after the long holiday (well, not actually holiday la... dissertation prep time). Well, most of them have not started their dissertation too, so it was quite a relief. The only person whose half way there is Daphne.. she's writing up her work already and said she can finish by end of the month... apa ni????

Well, anyways, I did spend my whole weekend then just lazing around at home and stayed in bed for the longest time. Watched DVDs endlessly till I fall asleep and woke up till noon. Quite disgusting la...

So, today I decided to kemas the house, do my laundry and will start work with my write-up and calculations. I have less than 2 weeks to finish up my simulations before I head off to KL. I have a feeling I'm not gonna finish up on time... but I'll just try my best.

In the meantime, I'm gearing up to meet Dr Kapas tomorrow morning to tell him the bad news on the PhD offer. I hope he'll understand. It's going to be hard for me, but I have to face him sooner or later.

My Favourite Song

My Destiny... can't stop loving this song :)

My yo-yo week

I must say that that this has been a yo-yo week for me in terms of working with my dissertation. Monday I showed up and started off my work in uni, Tuesday ponteng to help sis Serina pick up her parents in Birmingham, yesterday was excellent discipline working non-stop from 11am-5pm (I was really impressed myself)... and today, well... I woke up at noon and feel so malas to go to uni!

I have exactly 20 days to finish my circuit simulations before I jet off to Dubai & KL. I don't know whether I can make it through or not. Damn worried but so malas... how ah??? I'm really trying to avoid Dr Pasir as much as I can, but its not good coz he needs to know my progress. Looks like I have to drag myself to uni then...

Last night I met Serina's aunt, Mak Keno. She moved to UK when she was young to find a job and got the opportunity to work with UN. She has travelled the world, made it on her own and then at the age of 50+, she now managed to settled down in France, have a good life and owning properties in Europe. She talked to me last night and it was really inspiring. She said that yes, it will be hard for the first few years to settle down, but the rewards and the experience gained is priceless. She never regret her decision to leave Malaysia to pursue her career. Thank you for your advice, Mak Keno... I really appreciate it.

OK lah.. I have to get ready now.... MUST force myself out of bed and head to uni...

Sheila Majid - Cinta Kita

A song that reminds me of Hubby, Boboy & Baby

Its July, why am I not in panic?

Yup, its officially July already. Unfirtunately, I haven't started anything credible for my dissertation. The worrying bit is that I'm not even sweating or panicking at all... and that worries me.

I had a movie marathon last night, finishing 3 DVDs I rented from Blockbuster... ahhh, Blockbuster's a bliss.. more reasons to procrastinate to finish the dissertation.

I do realise that starting this month I have to work 9 to 5 in uni to finish my project. I have 25 days left, before I leave for KL and holiday. That must be the only motivation to start my project soon, as I will not have anymore time dah... There seems to be so much to do, but why am I so malas to start... aiyoh... must start building the momentum la.. how ah???

No more lies :(

Dr Pasir has been kind enough to prepare a workstation for me next to his office, so that I can do my project simulation independantly, without logging into the university's ever-crowded computer clusters. Very kind of him... but unfortunately, very smart move indeed. This way, he can monitor my progress more closely, a.k.a I can't make up any more excuses for not doing work.

This past week, I was so busy juggling time with my student warden admin work (since the undergrads are moving out) and the stressful PhD-KBR-dilemma paperwork, that I haven't really sat down and concentrate 100% with my dissertation. I was too tired doing something else than my project. So, when I woke up really late Wednesday, I kinda make a little lie to Dr Pasir that I wasn't feeling too well - 'the-i-dunno-what-i-ate-but-my-tummy-ache-so-much' one. Got away with it last Wednesday & yesterday... so I vowed that I will make a good impression to turn up early with a fresh 'recovery' at Dr Pasir's office today.

However, unfortunately you don't get away with lies... last night I had the worst tummy ache ever!!! You see, I didn't eat the whole day and finally for dinner I succumbed to Pizza Co's extra hot spicy wings... The pain was so unbearable, I couldn't sleep at all, as I was heading to the loo all night. The last thing I remember was I called Hubby at 6am in the morning in pain, and then literally fainted.

So, today I got up really late (again!), still in pain, tired and dehydrated and its too late to possibly drag myself to uni in this state.... I dunno how to face him next week! Tu la, padan la muka I ni... No more lies, I learnt my lesson the hard way :(

God never closes a door without opening a window....

Alhamdulillah, my prayers were answered. I received the official offer letter this morning as I rushed out to university. It took me quite a while to actually pinch myself to realise the letter is in front of me today. I am so relieved that I can finally sit down and relax after all the stressful weeks I've been through. I am very blessed this year and am ever so thankful to God Almighty for the opportunities that he has given me.

Amidst all the joy that my wishes for the opportunity to pursue my Chartered came true, I realise that my journey doesn't end here. There will be times that God will test us and take away something we've always wanted. But I believe that he does so for a reason.... we should have no regrets, as each tests makes us stronger and more determined to prepare ourselves for something much better that he will offer in the future.

I speak so because two of my close friends were being tested this week. To Serina, I will pray with you that your father gets well soon and that your whole family can be there for your graduation. To Devina, I will pray for your success for the chance to further your studies to a PhD. My prayers might not be much, (if compared to all the help & support that both of you have given me throughout my tough times here...) but I do hope it will assist to make it a bit easier to go through this.

For every ordeal or closed opportunity, there's always a hikmah behind it. God never closes a door without opening a window... my prayers & support are with you always....

My Destiny by Katherine McPhee

I have always dreamed of this
I'll admit that there was something I missed
Wonderin' if it is for real
Every mistake, every wrong turn
Every time I lost my way
Led me to this, moment of bliss, tonight

(Chorus)
With you, finally I can break free
With you, I saw a changing in my destiny
Dream come true, it's so funny now that I see
How different life turned out to be

You were always by my side
That you believed in me was enough reason why
I didn't stop, didn't give up
Even if I sometimes lost hope
I did my best, and I am blessed
In life

Can I get any higher
Tell me, does it get any stronger?
I owe it to you, that I made it through
I never could've done it, without you

Oh, cause of you, I saw a changing in my destiny
Dream come true, it's so funny now that I see
How different life turned out to be
I've realized that it's my destiny

Let's talk about wardrobe

I woke up at 2pm, I know its not something to be proud of. I've made up my mind last night that today will be a busy day for me. I need to sort out my piling laundry. I don't have anything in my wardrobe to wear dah! Times like this you wish you have all the money in the world and just buy clothes without worrying to do your laundry, kan...

Though, I may not have enough clothes... I have quite a big collection on shoes. In fact, yesterday, I went to town to look for a new nice pair of shoes to wear with my bridesmaid dress at Nina's wedding in August. However, as usual, ended up buying something else - a nice pair of transparent jelly slippers instead... hehe. Like they say, girls can never have enough shoes... ;)

Also, window-shopped for Hubby's birthday present. Its so difficult to get the perfect present for someone's whose got everything, especially Hubby whose wardrobe is full of designer brands. Me & my friends are the 'high street' chicks, we buy stuff which looks like a designer style, but at affordable high street prices. We once joked at looking at Hubby's pair of Prada shoes one time, saying that with that price, we could buy 10s of high street shoes that look exactly the same. We can't really figure out the designer hype as much as he does. So, it will be a challenge for me to justify whether a designer present is worthwhile the price. If I can't find it here,I'll be looking forward to my trip to Dubai to find his present then.

Ok, better get the laundry done and wardrobe organised. Oh my God, it's going to be a busy Sunday - my wardrobe's in such a mess, I don't even know where to start!

Just a normal day

Nothing much to write today coz its just like a normal lazy day for me. Woke up mid afternoon, check my emails, call Hubby & Vas and start feeling depressed and confused with my future career again. Although I basically have made up my mind, I still feel guilty to my kind supportive supervisors in Petronas, who are still fighting for my PhD appeal. Plus, the thought of Dr Kapas's beaming smile when he offers me the PhD is still fresh in my head. Vasantha advised me to re-consider my decision, just in case Petronas will let me off with paid leave. Though I highly doubt it, miracles can still happen.

At the moment, I'm trying to clear my head from this stressful triangle and concentrate on my dissertation. Its so depressing to know that you know what is the outcome of the project, but you just can't get around understanding how to solve it! Huh... well I have to do something, as time travels so fast its nearly end of June dah.

OK, me back to work then... (yawn)

A new start... Syukur Alhamdulillah

I'm beginning to pick up slowly on what's left behind all these weeks with my dissertation. Yesterday, I managed to drag myself to Uni and the library to start off my work. It was allright- at least I know the computer simulation is working and I've started studying on heat transfer till late last night. I also got my groceries and started cooking and cleaning the house. So, its a good start to build up my momentum to finish this project as soon as I can.

But the best news was this morning, when I received a phone call from Rebecca (KBR). She went straight to the point and said I got the job and the offer letter is on its way. I was so excited!!! Oh my God, my life is about to change to a new start now... I've got the opportunity to make the first leap out of my comfort zone in Malaysia! I quickly rang up Hubby, Hawari, Mama, Vasantha and Nina and everyone is so happy with the offer. Though Hubby convinced me to stay calm until the official letter arrive, before I make drastic decisions. OK dear, I will... but I'm so excited!!!

I felt that today is going to be a fresh new day for me. So, I'm now gearing up to pack my things and head to Uni to get my dissertation done and over with!

Syukur Alhamdulillah to the almighty for giving me this chance.. syukur Alhamdulillah...

Travelling back to reality

For the past couple of days, I was contented at Nina's place in Glasgow. We had such an amazing weekend - went shopping for my bridesmaid dress (which is fab!), collected her wedding rings and just strolling around town. We talked for hours on what we learnt from the past, our achievements in the present and our dreams for the future. Though I must say that we spent most of our time lazing in front of the telly watching the footie at home... but at our age- telly, nasi-masak-lemak-cili-padi-dinner, coffee, roks with comfy couch, beats any form of entertainment anytime!

Nina & I grew up together since primary school. I can relate to Nina very much, as we both came from seperated parents. More commonly, we both are away from the people we love to pursue our career... and at times, we can just break down in tears missing our other half and just felt like leaving everything behind to be with them again. I find it really difficult to survive after just 7 months away from Hubby, but seeing Nina surviving on her own with a successful career in a foreign country after all these years inspired me so much.

As I travelled home this morning to Manchester, I can't help thinking about what it would be like if I too take that giant leap to come out from my comfort zone in Malaysia and explored what the UK can offer. I was imagining a small cozy house like Hawari's in Guildford with a small garden for Mama & Boboy and a driveway for Hubby's dream car. Me & Hubby can get to do the work we enjoy, Mama can retire comfortably and maybe we are so ready to start a family. We all will have dinner together and then lepak for coffee in front of the fireplace... It would be so nice... It would be so great.... and I would be the happiest person in the world to be able to share that with the people I love so much....

Suddenly, the train stopped and I realised that I'm in Manchester already. No more sunshine, as it was raining as we reached the station. From then on, I realised that I'm back to reality. While I was struggling with my luggage in the rain to catch a cab home, I saw the Sackville Street building. It reminded me on how so much work I need to catch up to face Dr Pasir soon. Deep inside, I was really hoping to get a letter from Leatherhead.....

I'm in Glasgow !!!!

Yup, still travelling. This time I'm in Glasgow to visit my dear best friend, Nina. I'm now in her apartment while she's preparing our spaghetti dinner. Oh my God, I love her place! Its a 2 bed luxury apartment with a huge kitchen and living room. Its so cozy and nice. Nina has been here for nearly 8 years now and is doing well. I'm really proud of her achievements. I so want to have my own place too and it made me think twice again about the possibility of working here instead of pursuing my PhD.

Yes, I'm still deciding and it is stressing me out. I can't decide truly until I get the official offer from KBR (which I really hope I'll get soon!). I dare not go to uni to face Dr Kapas just in case he asked me on the PhD, nor to face Dr Pasir on my dissertation. I don't know lah... I have to decide fast, its really bothering me and really effecting my concentration with my dissertation. I haven't done much at all if compared to my other classmates. I'm so worried I can't do this anymore....

My trip to Surrey

I just got home from Surrey for my KBR assessment day & interview. I left Manchester yesterday and arrived in Guildford at about 5.30pm. Hawari greeted me there, cheerful as usual and belanja me a nice dinner at Wagamama. I was so excited to be back in Surrey again after nearly 6 years. When I reached the rail station, suddenly the memories of Surrey hit me. Hawari brought me walking down memory lane to Guildford town and the university. We went to find our old room in Battersea Court and the buildings I used to spend most of my time during my undergraduate. Though lots of new buildings were built since I last seen UniS, the same peaceful surrounding and serenity of Surrey nearly brought tears to my eyes as I recalled all the good times I spent there. Hawari also managed to bring me to one of his favourite cafe in town (which is a new one), by the river and we had the best serving of Belgian waffles and capacino. We talked and talked, laughing off bout the good old times in Surrey.

We then headed home to Hawari's. It was a nice neighbourhood. Hawari's housemate, George, voluntarily evacuated to his girlfriend's place for me to have his room for the night. Siap pasang air freshener lagi! Instead of having an early night rest, Hawari was so kind to go through important pointers and tips on how to do well for the interview. We discussed on the possible Q&A which I found really useful.

This morning, I woke up really early, got ready and rushed down to Leatherhead with Hawari driving through the mad traffic. Alhamdulillah, got there on time and I was so nervous. I was a bit surprised though that out of 10 graduates that they were expecting for the assessment, only 5 (including myself) showed up. Though, it was quite a relief that all of us were international graduates, so we weren't really intimidated by each other. In fact, I was lucky that all of them were really, really nice people.

The assessment started off with a brief introduction about the company and then we had to give individual presentations. As usual, I forgot my lines. I didn't do too well in the presentation, but I think I did quite all right with the other assessments. We had a team activity, phsycometric tests and an 'energiser' activity, which was really good fun. After lunch, it was back to more company presentations and a tour of the KBR facilities. The last agenda of the day was the most feared of all - the individual interview. To make matters worst, I was the last one due! So, you can imagine the stressful position I was in and the numerous toilet trips I had to deal with, while anticipating my turn.

Finally, I got called in. They asked the normal standard questions - what can I offer the company, where do I see myself in 5 years, my expectations bla bla. I so want to thank Hawari that we went through 80% of the Q&A the night before! Then, they asked me on my working experience. As soon as I said that I was from an oil & gas company, doing the exact job that they were offering, they suddenly got all excited. They tested me on some practical questions and even went all the way to get a single line diagram out! Since I'm familiar with the drawings, I was more than happy to answer all their questions. Once done, Rob & Kate (two of the interviewers), sat back, rolled their eyes and said, "Oh my God, I ran out of questions - you're ready to start tomorrow! If you decide to join us, I bet you can achieve your charteredship in 2&half years, max!"

At that moment, I just sat there stumped & speechless. Suddenly, the vision of Dr Kapas's PhD offer, Yusman's PGTS, Mama, Hubby & Boboy were spinning in my head. My nightmare has officially begun....

The healing Bath...

I have been a bit depressed lately, mostly due to the late night sleep and being a slob for the past 2 weeks. Plus, the dilemma of deciding to work or continue to PhD is giving me a great deal of stress. I can't concentrate with my dissertation and was feeling so lost.

Then, last weekend I went to an overnight trip to Bath. It was amazing- so beautiful and unique. It was the perfect getaway for me to get some fresh air from the hustle & bustle of Manchester. We explored the city from the Roman Bath to the Crescent & Circus buildings, marvelling the architecture that are so well preserved. Its truly a remarkable experience to know that each building we set foot on, has its own story. Plus, the weather was fantastic - not a single drop of rain!

















The next morning we went to Stonehenge and it was magical. An ancient engineering marvel that can take your breath away. I was really inspired. The presicion positioning of the stones marks the start of the summer sun and the winter days. Remarkable!














The highlight of the trip was when Hawari, Faiz & Farah travelled all the way from Surrey to Bath just to meet me, within 30minutes before our bus departs. I really miss them. Its so nice to meet fellow Malaysians again after so long. Plus, I haven't seen Hawari for nearly 6 years dah! Although we lepak for a short half hour, I nearly shed a tear while I waved them goodbye from the bus. It was nice to see your old friends again....





As we reached Manchester, I felt really good (despite the heavy Manchester rain that follows later). I truly enjoyed my weekend getaway, it was truly a healing trip that I so much needed.

I'm tired and I miss home :(

I've been away from home for nearly 9 months dah.

It has been a whirlwind journey for me. I've had many ups and downs, struggling to be a student again. I recalled my never ending anxieties about excelling in exams, pushing myself to the limit to finish my courseworks, juggling time and rushing everywhere to make it perfect.


And tonight, I've reached the stage where I'm physically and emotionally tired. I just wanna go home :(

Tiada ertinya....

Lara tiada akhirnya
Pabila menatap resah
Sepi hingga waktu berkubur

Sayu makin menghukum
Didada terhiris kalbu
Oh adakah inikan terus berlalu?

Apa nilainya?
Jika sangsimu mengganggu
Untuk kembali kepangkuan
Dan bermesra denganku

Tiada ertinya disini
Tiada ertinya berkasih
Semua telah kau bawa dan berlalu
Tinggalkanku

Tiada ertinya menanti
Tiada ertinya buatku padamu
Diri yang merindui

Apa yang kumahukan
Bagimu tiada ruangan
Berdiri dan memeluk diriku…

Good food & Good movie weekend

Last Friday night, me & sis Serina went to Nonie's birthday party at her house. It was really good to be out as we have not been out for quite a while due to the exams. Happy Birthday Nonie!!! Thank you so much for the good food- it was the best meal I've ever had since I came- we had nasi with sweet sour fish, udang masak lemak, sayur kailan, sambal petai and rich chocolate cake! It was fantastic!

Met up with Nonie's and Malan's friends as well, and it was really good company. We left Nonie's around 12.30am, courtesy of Ashraf's ride. Then, we spent the whole night watching CSI marathon. Serina went home around 3am, and I continued the CSI marathon till 8am! by the time I woke up, it was 5pm.... OK, I know I sound disgusting, but it felt really good giving myself a treat after working so hard.

Though, I can't get too comfortable as I'll be working hard again for the next few months to fininsh my dissertation. Talking bout dissertations, Dr Kapas surprised me by offering me a full PhD sponsorship from uni next year! I was so overwhelmed, I just couldn't believe it. I went home and broke the news to Hubby.... now I have to decide whether to take it or try working instead. Haven't really make up my mind yet.. but I have a strong feeling that the PhD offer is best.

While I'm deciding, I broke the news to PETRONAS and am really hoping that they'll decide to let me do my PhD on paid study leave. I hope they realise that most of my colleagues are all earning so much already and should give me a chance. I think if PETRONAS won't help me out, I might consider to resign.

So, in the meantime... I have to snap out of this laziness soon coz I haven't started my dissertation properly yet. And its starting to make me panic.

Back to being lazy

I didn't sleep at all last night - finishing my KBR application form. Serves me right coz I didn't prepare it earlier. I was like a walking zombie this morning when I went to post it in town. Got home and slept. I just woke up now and feeling so sluggish and lazy. Don't feel like doing anything, but my house is in a total mess. I have to kemas sometime.... but feel so lazy la..

Butterflies in my tummy

After horrible sleepless nights, I finally completed my presentation slides and managed to annoy my next door neighbours by rehearsing the slides till the morning hours! I've set up the laptop, printed some copies and straightened my hair. My sis, Serina managed to help with tomorrow's 'costume' - I'll have to look professional & happening at the same time. I'm settling with her cool Zara blazer with white V neck tee and this cool black belt worn over the tee - apparantly, its the 'in' thing now...hehe

Anyways, I'm really nervous about tomorrow- not so on the presenting, but whether I'll be able to wake up in the morning- since I have not been up before 2pm for quite a while....

OK, better be off to bed. Tonight I'll be dreaming of my Temperature Controlled Resistive Fault Current Limiters for Aerospace Application.....

Wish me luck!

My deserving movie treat :)

I didn't sleep at all last night, trying to finish my dissertation feasibility report. I had to work in the morning and then managed to finally printed out the report. Went to uni to submit the report around 4pm and then came back home to work again till 7.30pm. My brain was totally tired....

At 8-ish, Devina & Marc came for dinner. We all had to wait for nearly 1.5 hours for JATI's delivery! It was really irritating coz we were all dead hungry.... but the wait was worth it, had the char kway teow & nasi lemak and they were so sedappppp....

We then rushed out to town where Marc belanja me movie & ice cream for my birthday (err... my 1 month belated one). We watched X-Men3. It was good, I mean I'm a big fan of X-Men anyways. It was really a good treat for me since all the rushing around for the past couple of weeks. It was truly a deserving fun night-out :)

I'm back!!!!.... but only for 30seconds..

It has been nearly 20 days since I last wrote in. No, not because I was lazy... it was because I was too busy! To summarise what I've been up to:
1) I finished my exams on Friday 5th May,
2) rushed off the same day to Sommerset to stay with my HOST family for the weekend,
3) rushed back up to Manchester to pick-up my brand new fru-fru Apple MacBook Pro,
4) rushed down again to London to meet up with Hubby and Mami (mom-in-law)
5) spent the whole week travelling & sightseeing in London, Cheshire Oaks, Chester & around Manchester
6) no. 5 was done, while rushing to meet a job application deadline
7) sent off Mami who went back to Malaysia last Friday
8) sent off Hubby who went down to London last Sunday (he's leaving to Malaysia tomorrow)
9) rushed off to complete my project literature review for my supervisor, Dr Pasir last Monday....
10) .... AND finally, rushing to meet the deadline to complete my feasibility report due this Friday.... PLUS I have to prepare for my project presentation this coming Tuesday!

Thus, my brain's half dead at the moment and am holding on to dear life to complete no.10 above. I can't wait to get this done and over with, so that at least I know come June, I'm officially starting my research period (aka holiday period). Then, I can enjoy doing nothing and hopefully be able to update my blog & post some nice pictures.

Till 1st of June, take care & wish me luck!

3 down, 1 more to go!!!

Finished yesterday's exam and now gearing up for my last paper soon.

Did the most dumbest mistake of all in yesterday's paper - I didn't read the questions carefully. Ended up plotting the wrong graph and not getting the final answer! By the time I realised, it was too late. I know I'm not gonna do well this semester :(

Haiya... what to do... FORGIVE & FORGET je la....